Insanity

by / Tuesday, 23 July 2013 / Published in An Addict Within Blog, Writings
an addict within book cover and author Mark Lipp

“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” Albert Einstein

Nothing  I did, no action I took, worked in stopping My addict’s use of drugs. In fact, the drug problem my daughter had was progressively getting worse over the years even after multiple rehabs.  She started with alcohol and marijuana, through pills and cocaine all the way to her current drug of choice, heroin by injection.

Punishing her did not work. Bribery did not work. Nothing I did worked. Neither did all the  proactive  actions I took in trying to stop her. None had any affect for more than a few days.

I was as addicted to trying to fix her as she was addicted to heroin.

I then knew I had to change and an epiphany  of sorts happened.

Could  it possibly be that my proactive, Superdad  attitude, in some bizarre way fueled her drive to do drugs further? Could it be that my uncovering her and tracking her down and constantly trying to fix her, put more pressure on her to escape and to hide with drugs? While I am trying to save her, am I really helping to kill her?

Well I now knew that at best my actions had no affect as her life progressed to heroin. At worst, my actions of chasing her were making the problem worse. Therefore, in the best case scenario… if nothing I did helped her, and at worst it drove her farther into drugs, then, why would any sane person continue this behavior?

So I made a dramatic change in my behavior and it turned my life sane again. Has it stopped my addict from using …no. Has it made my life and that of the rest of my family  better….yes. It is possible to be happy while your child is using…yes. Is it easy …no. Is there a way…yes.

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